How can I manage my anxiety?

1.Address the Cause

The primary stage of anxiety recovery is alleviating the symptoms. You can read lots about this in my previous posts! The next stage is understanding the possible cause for anxiety. Some people find this very hard to do. For many, it does not pertain to a significant event in childhood or indeed adulthood. Some find they may have a predisposition toward anxiety while others may be experiencing a very stressful time in their lives.

Context

Understanding the context is important. More often than not, chronic stress or a significant life change can trigger anxiety. We have different areas of our lives that require our attention at different times. Our jobs/careers, friends, family, relationships, hobbies and interests all require our attention at different stages throughout our lives. Often, when one requires our attention more than the other or they need our attention simultaneously we become stressed which can lead to anxiety.

Imagine it on a scale of 1 to 10. Up until a 5 or 6, you’re dealing with stress, however, when it goes beyond this (6,7,8,9) you start to feel anxious. Anxiety, is a pervasive sense of unease or tension. Ideally, we want to be on the lesser end, so toward a 1 or 2 on a scale. However, if we reach levels of 6 or upwards, that tense feeling can become constant, and we begin experiencing somatic symptoms (such as a know in your tummy, breathlessness and feeling sick) and racing thoughts. This is anxiety.

Change

Significant change in our life can also trigger feelings of anxiety. The change can be positive such as a new relationship or starting a new job. The point is it’s a significant change and change is unfamiliar which means we’re out of our comfort zone, which can be hugely anxiety provoking.

If we’ve had a difficult experience in the past in either of these areas it can inform our current feelings of insecurity and dread and feel really scary.

It’s important to recognise this so as to prevent a relapse in future.

A useful question to consider is ‘Where am I at on the scale?  and ‘What’s been happening in my life since or before I began to feel this way’?.

2. Practice calm every day

This will help you let go of the need for control. This can be something simple like ten minutes of meditation every day (a useful app for this is CALM ) Practicing yoga can also be helpful. I find this YouTube channel useful.

If achieving calm via relaxation is difficult for you, you can try something more immersive such as reading a book, listening to an audio book, cooking, knitting, exercising, singing etc. The important thing is that you have daily switch off time. By doing so you are teaching your brain to slow down and calm down. You’re also proving to yourself that you are capable of feeling calm. It’s important to remind yourself of that experientially (i.e by doing and experiencing calm) as well as cognitively (by telling yourself).

3. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come

You’re so much stronger than you think. Celebrate your success. Taking time out to recognise this is really important and again, regular ‘calming’ practice can help you to reflect on this. You have all the skills and knowledge within you to overcome future adversity. Remember that.

4. Practice self compassion

Again this is imperative. Consider the way in which you are speaking to yourself. Ask yourself ‘Am I speaking to myself with kindness or am I speaking to myself harshly?’ There are times when you may become triggered into anxiety again. It is very easy to say ‘I should be over this’. This causes you to feel like you’ve failed and it further causes you to feel disappointed with yourself.

A helpful step here is to accept where you’re at within yourself and plan around that.  I find Tara Brachs loving kindness meditation can be useful for this.

5. Take regular breaks

We all need escapism, particularly if recovering from anxiety. Find what this is for you and go ahead and do it. Some people find walking or being outside with nature really helps them. Others find listening to music, baking, watching movies work best for them. They’re all great escapist activities. Find what works for you!

People often find they are scared to spend time alone when recovering from anxiety. They fear that they will regress and have a full on panic attack. The important things to remember here is that fear is just a feeling and you can go on despite the fear. If you’ve overcome your anxiety then you know that!

So, find what your escapism is and promise yourself to make it a regular part of your life.